all the words

baby, i love you much much. loving you makes me get really crazy. the time we had before. all was really prefect. we always asked do you remember this and do you remember that. the flashing back of all those happy moment could made a pretty nice smile on my face. the way you smell me and said you like me pig smell,it sounds kinda sarcastic but i love it. sweet. i don't know whether do you said the same thing to the other girl, if it does then i guess i might be real sad and down.

she loves you like how the way i love you. i can't afford to buy ya any expensive stuff. i can't,but i wish. she could buy anything you like,it proved a lot about how deep and how true she is in love with you. although,it's really sad when i knew about the story but still i accept the fact and forgive you because i love you. i read her blog mostly everyday. i feel kinda ''busy body'' or kinda troublesome for making myself down or something while i was reading. i can't take whatever that had happen between you and me and also her. the truth was too ugly until i keep thinking over and over again, then i am down of it.

sigh..

i had a very serious and bad dream. i can't believe that i will have such ridiculous dream. it began like....
you and me went to sunway (the place you both went before i guess). you were wanting to meet you friend right there. we were walking and walking until we both get tired. we found a place to sit down and rest. then i was asking,don't you afraid that you will meet her here accidentally and you just kept quiet. suddenly,the climax it's here. (very real) i was asking you nonsense again(like what i also does in reality),that might made myself pissed off seriously. i was asking something about her,the past about you and her. then you started to tell,you were smiling all the way. then she said she bought ya something very expansive, you love it very much. after this,my heart was totally broken and i can't take any single more then i gave ya one tight slap. i slapped you. i ran off very quickly, i kept running and running away. i kept crying too. i can't believe that i slapped you. i ran till half way then i fall. i looked back you were coming towards to me. i got up very fast and ran away again,until somewhere corner i sit down the floor. you came over and you just kept quiet. then you met your friend,you were talking with them then having some jokes i guess. strangely, we were all at my grandma house already. you still don't wanna talk anything to me. i walked off and i lost you. i walked out the house i saw you drove away. i ran to the room and trying to call you with house phone but the house phone was working after all ... i was going to cry then I AM AWAKE! it was all just a dream. my body was all sweat, the feeling were still right here, freaking me out.

i can't believe i could have such dream. i guess i think too much of our problem including her in reality.

Come home

Everything i can`t be
Is everything you should be
And that`s why i need you here
Everything i can`t be
Is everything you should be
And that`s why i need you here
So hear this now

Come home
Come home
Cause I`ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I`ve ever known
Ever known
So come home

DON'T LIE cause i can't take the pain

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry
Hey, baby my nose is getting big
I noticed it be growing when I been telling them fibs
Now you say your trust's getting weaker
Probably coz my lies just started getting deeper
And the reason for my confession is that I learn my lesson
And I really think you ought to know the truth
Because I lied and I cheated and I lied a little more
But after I did it I don't know what I did it for
I admit that I have been a little immature
Fucking with your heart like I was the predator
In my book of lies I was the editor
And the author
I forged my signature
And now I apologize for what I did to you
Cos what you did to me I did to you

No,no, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don't lie
No, no, no, no, yeah, you know, know, know, know, you gotta try
What you gonna do when it all comes out
When I really see you & what you're all about

No, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don't lie
Yeah, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you gotta try

She said I'm leaving
Cos she can't take the pain
It's hard to continue this love it ain't the same
Can't forget the things that I've done inside her brain
Too many lies committed too many games
She feeling like a fool getting on the last train
Trying to maintain but the feeling won't change
I'm sorry for the things that I've done and what I became
Caught up in living my life in the fast lane
Blinded by lights, cameras, you know the fame
I don't know the reason why I did these things

And I lie and I lie and I lie and I lie
And now our emotions are drained
Cos I lie and I lie and a little lie lie
And now your emotions are drained

No, no, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don't lie (no, don't you lie)
No, no, no, no, yeah, you know, know, know, know, you gotta try (got to try, got to try)
What you gonna do when it all comes out (what you gonna do baby)
When I really see you & what you're all about
Nonono babe, no, no, no, no don't lie
Because you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, gotta try

Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ba da ba da ba da ba da badabada

Yo, I'm lying to my girl
Even though I love her
And she all in my world
I give her all my attention and diamonds & pearls
She's the one who makes me feel on top of the world
Still I lie to my girl, I do it

And I lie and I lie and I lie till there's no turning back
I don't know why, (and I lie and I lie till I don't know who I am)



*baby,let sing this together.

i want it seriously

we watched this movie together last few days.
this movie were like telling something about us.
we were separated.
3 months.
before the separation.
we cheated and lied to one another.
but in the end we get back together.
while watching this movie,
i was really concentrating,
i paid my attention in this movie.
cause the story is just like us.

guess was already few weeks.
i never stop or change how the way i love you,baby.
i love you always.
keep thinking about you seriously.
i'm trying to think ya less my man.
just wanna be more with myself.

i blame myself for being emo while with you.
it made ya felt uncomfortable,i know that.
sigh. but i just can't and really can't get over this.
how the way you hide for so long,it's half year.
with all those bad images and words.
i don't know how deep you both get into,
i don't know how hard you both struggled to,
i don't know how bad you both wanted to.
i can't stop thinking and wondering.

i'm trying to forgive and forget so that both of us can get happy.

i want to let ya know that i do really want to be a great girl of yours.
i wish this time you are true.
no more lies and no more hide.
please,tell me everything.

baby,don't lie okay?

''No,no, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don't lie
No, no, no, no, yeah, you know, know, know, know, you gotta try
What you gonna do when it all comes out
When I really see you & what you're all about

No, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don't lie
Yeah, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you gotta try''

i asked nonsence

ahh. i cant believe what i had asked him.
''did you both french kiss before?''
this is real stupid.
cause i thought they didn't.
sigh.
i shouldn't think this way earlier.
they were couple isn't it?
...
surely they had their kisses, hugs and whatever like me and him doing same.
this is what i couple does,right?
why am i emo for that?
god damn it charlotte lee.

why are we always like feeling bad or angry for each other?
i really don't know.
is like,i could get angry easily or being unhappy once i heard something related to ''sugar''
once i felt something,which is her.
once he kiss me hug me or bite me, very fast i already have her in my mind.
all those images that only have him and her.
then seriously i get real emo and down.
and he could get angry easily once i did some problem or something stupid.
like,i didn't call him first or i late answer his call then he will sounds really mad of me.

every time,i get slightly angry or unhappy then he will started to try to make me better.
but just that awhile not more than 10 minutes.
after that,he will just pissed off.
i thought he will still comfort me,cuase no matter how i will be better.
i just needed to see and enjoy myself for letting him comfort.
but mostly guy would think why must they waste their time for doing this.
but they didn't know how much their girl care for this,
how much their girl would spent their for their man.
and lastly,it's because they love their man so.
girl, we should kindly be tolerate just to let your man stay but nothing else we can do.