it's the last day

2010 is just around the corner.
i wish i could able to celebrate this day with him,the last day of 2009.
i want us to be happy for every single things.
reduce argument..
reduce quarrel.
reduce competition.
reduce all those unhappy thing to happen.

in 2010,
i wish we can be the best couple after all. =D
i wish there will be no lie and no hide between us.
lovely all the way.

my sweet baby, don't push me away alright?
don't keep the words of separation.
no way for saying this easily.
please... i love you,my man.

the ending of 2009

here we go again. we argued and quarrel twice today.
wasn't a great thing to happen.
still im sick here,suffering with my blocked nose.

WW1,
i cried this afternoon,about what? guess i was too over talking with my care.
then he felt i was too annoying then he told me he wanted to have a nap.
it was just an excuse,he ain't going to have a nap.
he just want me be little quiet, he refuse to be sarcastic so he lied.
i knew he wasn't going to sleep then i posted something emo at the facebook with showing i was treated wrongly.
he pissed off. sigh. reasonable.
then we started to have our argument.
i cried while i was having my lunch and half way studying.
nose was blocked,feel more worse while crying.
hardly breath.

night...
WW2,
the next argument.
we were having nice conversation st first.
we both were showing what to wear for tomorrow's new year celebration.
then suddenly,came out a a guy named sean in our conversation.
nothing to be surprise.
he was curious about how come i know sean,who is the one who add who.
was a kinda long story about one of my best friend.
we argued,he don't trust whatever i'm saying.
and he told me maybe tomorrow he will not ask me out.
sigh!! ...
i told him,
c h a r l o t t e says:
sujie likes him,real thing. then they stop contact and all. sujie wan to know why but no dare to ask cause they stop contact. then that guy added me in fb. i knw its him. then i asked him do he knw sujie and all,then he asked for my msn address to chat easily.i gave him my address,he added me. first sujie dono that i ask and talk with him. until... few days ago.
thats the truth
still,he think i'm bullshiting.
i know.. no point he will think like that cause i did not told him about this before.
i should tell all earlier.
baby,i'm sorry...
sighhhh.
our conversation ended with,
c h a r l o t t e says:
haiihh.. dont like that can arh? im not trying to be annoy,just want to let you knw. i hope you wont simple say bye to me and to our relationship.
sighh
alright then
take care.. i love you

*i really seriously hope that he will not say any good bye easily to me and to our relationship.

still the priority?

every time while i fall sick,i do really wish that my love one could come over and give me the warmest care and love.
i really need lots of happiness from him.
i sound like i want too much and ask too much,
but i can't get this over.
sigh.
what am i to him since the day we were back?
still the priority? or just for fun? or just a company?
sigh sigh.

what's in his mind? i don't know.
seriously,i dislike and i hate he speck rude words to me.
cause i will think of my parents.
my very dumb mother always letting my dad scold with all those damn words.
i told myself i will not gonna get any husband like that.
sigh sigh sigh.
what's now?


baby,i ain't a doll.
i want an absolute love and care which is real and true.
i don't wanna play around.
i hope you could understand..

i love you.

pictures that meant

I DO

''Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner. Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer. ''

i just attended my cousin's wedding dinner. it was a very great night,looking at this prefect couple have announced as husband and wife. it was really touching while they said ''I DO'' for no matter how their husband or wife become rich or poor, healthy or weak and always be faithful.

i wish i could really married to someone that i love and willing to give him my life.
i not trying to joke but seriously i am hoping one day and soon it will happen to me.
i know it is too early for this. i'm not rushing myself to be married too.
is just i like the way how a person willing to share him or her life with their partner.
holds each other hands and walk into the hall with beautiful gown.
build beautiful family and be happily ever after.

if i able to have a strong and trustful relationship i will take it seriously until the day getting married. i do really wondered that one day i might really be his only wife. who i can share my everything with him, who can be my listener when i need to talk, who can cook for me when my stomach is empty, who can comfort me and chill me up when i am down, who also can love to be with me always and forever. =)
i wanna give him my body's temperature when his is cold.
i wanna be with him when he needs company.
i wanna smile with him everyday when once i am awake.
i wanna cheer him up when i have his is upset.
i wanna share the same bed with him all the time.
finally,
i wanna tell him ''i love you'' everyday and never gonna change.