who to blame?

i'm curious. i have friends but it seems like i don't have a best or closest friend. what i do is stay right here at my blog talking to myself through this page. it's really sound so wrong. i can't stand those who likes to show off and those who tend to talk like boss people. why i'm not that sociality like others? yea,why? i really want to step out my feet and join whatever i can. i prefer solo in social as well but seriously it doesn't work at all. tell me,who to blame? my family? why i'm born in this crazy background. i know,it's already better than the others who have worse background than i have. thus,i can already felt how they felt cause in my situation i barely can breathe already. what to do? i felt like wanna stop doing what i'm doing and start my new journey. unfortunately, there're a lot of thing is bugging me if i like to change and enter my new journey.

outsider doesn't know my background and all. that's why i'm suffer with this. i hardly can get out and have fun with my friends. oh my,can i know how and when this will change? there's always no answer.