My Secret Garden.: It's the simplest things we tend to ignore, when it's the simplest things, that mean so much more

a couple days before i was kinda like out of my mind and did something that no one can easily imagine. what is it? let me roughly tell it here, i told my boyfriend that i want to leave him and requested that we should be friend. the reason is because something kept on happen to me and also because of i saw him chatting with a girl. it's normal and this was happened for unintentionally. he did not hide,but it's just so unluckily that i saw him talking with this girl not just once. by the way,they was just talking through window live messenger. why i was so emotional on this? why i must bring up this as a big matter? it's because i do not want the same thing happens again which is a trauma for me seriously. at first, i told him this and he did not want to accept what i've requested. the second time, i told him let's just be friend then bestfriend then only goes to boyfriend,why not? perhaps i might know you a lot more,i said. right then,he accepted this suggestion after i've told him the reasons why i have to do this. the next morning,he texted me and said he can't stand it anymore and just want everything to get back normal. i barely can be touched by him at that time because my heart felt differently while i keep tell myself to be strong and be confident for all the time. but end up,he thought there was a guy who i want to be with to replace him. frankly, there's not any guy at all. i repeated telling him this but he doesn't believe in me. later on,when i meet him i saw his very down and upset face which i couldn't take it then i gave up those lousy suggestion and told him all what i felt deeply inside my heart about the why and what i have to do this and then later we got back normal like usual.

this sounds so ridiculous and lame,but if you were me you will know this is quite necessity at the moment.

result came out yesterday, and i'm down! again,i have to resit. why is it so hard so score better? why? stupid me! i'm not gonna be how i was last semester,now i gotta get up and be hard working on my studies. it's so odd, it's like since primary school, secondary school and now college i also barely could get a great result with flying colors. am i born this way? fml hard! no more behaving lazily, i gotta make it work! yes,i must!

right,i can't wait to get my pay from canon which i worked for them on the previous PC fair. i wanna buy hell lots of stuff. but of course not a mobile phone definitely due to i do not have such big amount of money to get a new one. especially for blackberry. i feel like getting one,and i'm pretty in love with this.

BlackBerry Curve 9300 with 3G