Monday, September 27, 2010

what's the best feelings?

the best feelings i had before it's when i was young,and first time fall in love so deeply and so do the person who loved me so right. we could just hang out at our neighborhood, walking under the moon with two hands holding tightly. time was short,but we appreciated it. i love the feelings that he could come out from his house at the night just to meet me while we were just 14. but,i know this will never happen again.

yes,i'm claiming i don't feel happy right now. yes,i admit i prefer to go back. and yes,we are different already. i really want to tell this,i don't know what i did wrong in the past that could make my life so miserable. who set me up? nobody. i hate it why i wasn't that wiser. i hate it why wasn't that stronger. that's so many i wanna claim and i wanna express. what if we are just friend,like the very close friend who will never argue never get jealous and never get to love each other but just care. i'm sorry for saying this because i find it so hard to deal with it. being love is it something nice? yes at first but no after that. i was being attack,and still being attack like mad. nobody here could help me. nobody here to protect me. what i have in my mind is i regret,i should love myself more than loving others.

i love it when i was smiling from the bottom of my heart, but i hate it when i was smiling while i feel like crying.

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