i wonder how to make everything go smoothly and naturally. pretending is not the way to live happily and i am pretending these days. hiding this kind of feelings inside my heart it's really very uncomfortable. i could even pretend to be sleepy and just wanted to ignore all the thing that i do not wish to care and just go to sleep. unfortunately,i realized that when i was awake in the next morning the feelings i had last night is still here working actively. i don't even know to trust and how to differentiate what's real and what's not real based on whatever in this complicated world.
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