It's the simplest things we tend to ignore, when it's the simplest things, that mean so much more

a couple days before i was kinda like out of my mind and did something that no one can easily imagine. what is it? let me roughly tell it here, i told my boyfriend that i want to leave him and requested that we should be friend. the reason is because something kept on happen to me and also because of i saw him chatting with a girl. it's normal and this was happened for unintentionally. he did not hide,but it's just so unluckily that i saw him talking with this girl not just once. by the way,they was just talking through window live messenger. why i was so emotional on this? why i must bring up this as a big matter? it's because i do not want the same thing happens again which is a trauma for me seriously. at first, i told him this and he did not want to accept what i've requested. the second time, i told him let's just be friend then bestfriend then only goes to boyfriend,why not? perhaps i might know you a lot more,i said. right then,he accepted this suggestion after i've told him the reasons why i have to do this. the next morning,he texted me and said he can't stand it anymore and just want everything to get back normal. i barely can be touched by him at that time because my heart felt differently while i keep tell myself to be strong and be confident for all the time. but end up,he thought there was a guy who i want to be with to replace him. frankly, there's not any guy at all. i repeated telling him this but he doesn't believe in me. later on,when i meet him i saw his very down and upset face which i couldn't take it then i gave up those lousy suggestion and told him all what i felt deeply inside my heart about the why and what i have to do this and then later we got back normal like usual.

this sounds so ridiculous and lame,but if you were me you will know this is quite necessity at the moment.

result came out yesterday, and i'm down! again,i have to resit. why is it so hard so score better? why? stupid me! i'm not gonna be how i was last semester,now i gotta get up and be hard working on my studies. it's so odd, it's like since primary school, secondary school and now college i also barely could get a great result with flying colors. am i born this way? fml hard! no more behaving lazily, i gotta make it work! yes,i must!

right,i can't wait to get my pay from canon which i worked for them on the previous PC fair. i wanna buy hell lots of stuff. but of course not a mobile phone definitely due to i do not have such big amount of money to get a new one. especially for blackberry. i feel like getting one,and i'm pretty in love with this.

BlackBerry Curve 9300 with 3G

the back of the phone is nicer than bb bold.

shortcut buttons available for music player.

i'm dreaming ...

what's the best feelings?

the best feelings i had before it's when i was young,and first time fall in love so deeply and so do the person who loved me so right. we could just hang out at our neighborhood, walking under the moon with two hands holding tightly. time was short,but we appreciated it. i love the feelings that he could come out from his house at the night just to meet me while we were just 14. but,i know this will never happen again.

yes,i'm claiming i don't feel happy right now. yes,i admit i prefer to go back. and yes,we are different already. i really want to tell this,i don't know what i did wrong in the past that could make my life so miserable. who set me up? nobody. i hate it why i wasn't that wiser. i hate it why wasn't that stronger. that's so many i wanna claim and i wanna express. what if we are just friend,like the very close friend who will never argue never get jealous and never get to love each other but just care. i'm sorry for saying this because i find it so hard to deal with it. being love is it something nice? yes at first but no after that. i was being attack,and still being attack like mad. nobody here could help me. nobody here to protect me. what i have in my mind is i regret,i should love myself more than loving others.

i love it when i was smiling from the bottom of my heart, but i hate it when i was smiling while i feel like crying.

another one!

this is my another birthday present from my aunty.

i love watches!

this from crocodile. i don't really like the brand but i like this one because it's so nice and it will help me how to carry on what i'm going to wear to match with my clothes.

*the color* - white, light yellow, light blue, red and purple (not dark blue).

too bad there's no black color. by the way,i'm wearing red right now. so nice!

hey,cheryl! are you jealous? ahahhahaha!

what's happening?

sigh. i wonder i will never find the word 'liar' in the dictionary.

only when you're lonely

after all the things you put me through
ooh still i come right back
but now i know the truth
i can finally see
you only want me when you're lonely
if i say i'm gonna leave
that's the only time you want me
next time you need me there i won't make it
another late night call i won't take it
cos now i finally see
you only want me when you're lonely

Only When You're Lonely - Bruno Mars (Download & Lyrics)

failed.

you're not sucks, not even a loser since the day i know you.

i did and i do understand on your situation. it's not that i don't understand you deep enough. i understand but i'm trying to change you. anyhow,like i have said it's not easy to control you. you barely could listen to me when i was giving you comment and telling you what i could see from you. how i wish i could just not bother anything. i know i am not bothering much cause i'm not qualified unless i'm your trusted best friend or whoever meaningful to you. by the way,you should thank god that you could control me successfully with not defense. i don't even know why,i can see i'm quite like my mother seriously. by the way, i know you're down enough before we discuss thing and now i can bet you're even more down. i'm here to apologies for burning you inside out. i'm sorry.

should have a lovely day.

yea,i gotta make my everyday a lovely day.

right now,i'm kinda like nothing to do. so i blog. *smile*

holiday is going to end very soon, and college gonna re-open very soon as well.

hoping i can really pun my effort on my studies and stop thinking about nonsense.

yea,i should.

boyfriend , me

took this picture while was on our way to get my grandma's 80th Birthday present.

i'm still waiting for my hair to get longer.

faster! faster!

right,peace*

picture

still learning.

my shopping list !!

for sure.

• a pair of flats shoe.
• a pair of sandal / heel.
• a blouse.
• brown-liner and eyeliner.
• hairbands and headbands.

maybe.

• a purse / handbag.
• bracelets, bangles, rings and earrings.
• skin products.
• lingerie.

may not buy but wanted to buy.

• skinny jeans - light blue.
• more nail polish.
• more outgoing clothes.
• sunglasses. (although i already have 3 of it)
• more lingerie.
• sneakers.
• more heels.
• more accessories.

so far,i only have rm400. i wonder how am i gonna satisfy myself with such amount of money. down*. how i wish a could earn more.

please hug me.

ugly feelings!!!!!

i really really hate myself for being alone in the night while i couldn't make myself asleep successfully. what i do is EMO. goddamnit! how i wish i can do something and make everything gone! " what if ? " why do what if never happens? never exist?

seriously,i need a true hug. a tender one. a warm one. that could last for minutes.

the 80th.

right here, let me post this special event which is my ahma 80th birthday celebration. she is 80years old now,but still she looks young like only 70.

ahma,i wish you all the best and good health. we love you!

my ahma.

me, ahma, sis, bro and mom.

the big family but few more were not in this group picture like, my dad.

this is only all grandsons and granddaughters with ahma.

i definitely look terrible in this picture. down*

me and my best cousin,cheryl.

boyfriend attend as well.

we both shared and bought something for my ahma and i still owe him money.

tsk tsk*

alright,for more pictures? please check them out at my facebook.

smile*

another present.

guess who took this picture for me?

it's her !

my cousin,cheryl lim.

she just came back from Singapore but she had gone back already.

look what she had present me for my birthday!!

a white Baby-G!

i'm so glad to received this!

girl,i appreciate it. i'm so touched and happy about your concern.

wish to see you soon. aight.

xoxo

birthday

Regrets of past won't make anything better. Maximise what u've already got now, don't let regret come in the future.

i believe.

i truly believe that's meant to be "BLUE BIRTHDAY" forever in my life. this never will change.

thanks for the wish girl. i like it when you said "Happy Birthday Bitch! i'm being true, do you like it?"

whatever you're trying to tell,i'm already get myself prepared to get serve. telling me he kiss and hug you first it's not surprise, know why? cause i know he is a BOY/GUY/MAN so obviously. if i'm a guy with a dick with two balls sticking between my two legs, i will fucking kiss and hug you too. yea,i'm talking like a bitch already. cause i've learnt a lot than you are. i know more.

i'm so tired facing you. facing everything that so happens. THANKS!

what a emo post is this during birthday. cool. fuck.

my birthday present

this is from my boyfriend.

yea, guess he want me to BE DELICIOUS.

i wonder why he always like to present me green apple.

i like it.

i do appreciate on whatever he spent on me, especially money. i'm happy but still not happy. i wish one day i can sop relying on him. this DKNY is a too much. 100ml. still too much.

anyway,i sincerely appreciated on this.

thanks baby.

do you know how to touch a girl?

Do you know how to touch a girl?

If you want me so much

First I have to know

Are you thoughtful and kind?

Do you care what's on my mind?

Or am I just for show?

You'll go far in this world if you know how to touch a girl.

Jojo

Note to God - Charice (: Lyrics :)

if i wrote a note to God.

hate you.

screw you

S e p t e m b e r

. . .

do not come near me ! argh*!

The person you care for the most is the person you'll let hurt the most.

i am wondering does true love really exist in your world? what i can see is a No. you never even understand what's a real woman want. yes,everybody loves money so do guy but then i can tell they will die for love but ain't money. cash can buy a wife or husband? cash can buy a family? cash can buy a friend? cash can buy you HAPPINESS? is it a yes?

do not judge a book on its cover. something you might found different if you could give your heart to read it with clear mind.

stab me in this morning.

i wonder how to make everything go smoothly and naturally. pretending is not the way to live happily and i am pretending these days. hiding this kind of feelings inside my heart it's really very uncomfortable. i could even pretend to be sleepy and just wanted to ignore all the thing that i do not wish to care and just go to sleep. unfortunately,i realized that when i was awake in the next morning the feelings i had last night is still here working actively.

i don't even know to trust and how to differentiate what's real and what's not real based on whatever in this complicated world.

Silence is a girl's loudest cry.

there're so much i want to tell but i hate to tell it out.

but right now i don't give a damn on what's the outcome and i just wanna make myself feel better.

everyone have their own fixed mind set. everyone have the different mind set. believing on their own belief. loving on their own loved thingy. follow on their own fashion. selecting on their path by their own. please,do not criticize on their decision. there's nothing wrong on picking A but not B. you couldn't blame him or her for being once stupid or careless cause i believe while deciding they'll always think before they decide. once they get regret,they'll always remember to remind themselves for not doing the same mistakes. so,respect on someone's decision.

talking with an opened-heart will always make someone feel better. i admit,i never talk with an opened-heart sometimes. once the others realized what you said it's not true, they'll definitely feel it's sucks. thus,just do whatever you like that followed by your heart. do not let the others force you.

i always remember and never will forget my past. i knew that long ago,i knew him long ago.

i know what kind of person he is so i do not have to ask anything about what he told you about me while he choose you and be with you . frankly,i'm really different from who i'm supposed to be in a year ago. get my point? i am tired, but you don't seems tired cause you get this started again. by the way,the times that i call you slut or bitch won't be that much like you call me. seriously. anyhow,i don't put too much hopes,i might cry again but i will not live my life miserable like what happened on the last September cause i've learnt a lot.

i'll do this.

i like.

cash

musics

cute boys

pillow talk

food

victoria secrets

chanel

LV

coach

hermes

facebook

tumblr

magazine

edison chan

zac efron

cute underwear

cosmetics

earrings

lip gloss

bags

cute tops

high heels

perfumes

mascaras

bed

pillows

kisses

red color

chocolate

caramel

strawberry

rose

dancing

to crap

to bite

to take pictures

to draw

to paint my nails

to dress up

to joke

to eat

to shop

to scold fuck you

to make noises

to show weird faces

to say EWW

to say DUHH

to be sexy

done! but i guess i got more..

changes

''At times you’re sad about what’s going on, just remember 1 permanent fact, everything changes." - Louiebeth Goloran