i don't want

we brought an argument again. sick sick sick!
i hate fighting this way.
what's the point are we fighting? what are we fighting for?

i really dislike arguing with you.
i dislike to see your angry or mad faces.

i know i am not the one anymore.
i can't bring you happiness and satisfaction.
i brought you sadness more than happiness.

honestly,i don't know what's wrong with me.
it can define in i hate you but i also love you.
i can't take all those words that comes out from your mouth.
sometime, it's hurt.
sometime i fight back it's because i don't want to end up like my mom.
she don't have all the happiness from her husband.
all she do is listen whatever my father said.
when my father raised his voice, my mother will like just kept quiet and do what my father want.
my mother never raise her voice to my father before,which i think that's not fair.

i'm a side viewer, also it's her daughter.
i always tell myself not to marry a bad temper husband.

please please...
can you feel what i feel?
i don't want to live like that.