what would this September be?

i was thinking about every September of mine. it was terrible and this time this September won't be any different because by this month i'm gonna miss someone so badly and i will be left alone here.

frankly, those bad memory were popping out in my retarded brain all in sudden. i'm i over it? am i? never been this way before and i'm lack of experience in my life. somehow, i hope i have something that which is very important to myself and can take over this whole shit over me and never gonna think about it. sighs, unfortunately i find nothing important in my life. it sounds so pathetic. i'm hating people around me, including my family. i wish i can have someone who i can fully trust, but in this world i believe there is no one who are trustworthy enough to keep your secret without breaking it. since my current life ain't working well, should i change my life? i'm thinking...