where is my bestfriend?

sighs. friends are like something that should be needed in our life but friends always come and go, they never stay forever with you. when i was in primary school, i was in a gang with another two girls. i thought that we are gonna be like those Best-Friend-Forever but somehow it never happens. after started another new life in high school, i met another two girls that has quite similar personality with me. we always sticked together like we can't be separate apart and we will not leave any of us behind. we broke school's rules together as well. until a day, they both decided to leave and continue their life in another school. i was influenced. i was about to follow them but i didn't do it anyway. i'm blessed that i believe in myself and insisted not to follow them and i just move on my life. hah, i remember so well that i cried truly from my heart like i knew i'm gonna lost them forever and indeed i literally lost them. they never talk to me like we used to, we never behave like bestfriend anymore but just friend. like what we call that as Hi-Bye-Friend.

now, i'm college. same thing, i met another two girls that we always hang out together. sit together and do our work together. unfortunately, the feelings has gone. i can't put the heart together and i just can't make it up like how bad i want them to be my bestfriend. things were becoming so strange. i can't share and express my feelings to them everything about my life and yes i can't trust them as well due to they still don't know me much. i hate this feelings. i don't know who to talk to when i need someone so badly. seriously, i want a friend a close friend who comes with the same heart as mine. own the same habit, same attitude, same hobby, and so on.

i'm so sick with those people who takes you as a fool, fooling around like there's no limitation. talking shit that breaks your heart. playing nonsense that lost your reputation. i'm so done with this! don't i need to be respected? gosh! i never throw a shit on you so you better don't do the same to me when i thought that you were my friend. the some they just will never stop criticizing my personality and whatsoever about me then pretends like never do that to me before. besides, when there's come the boiling point and i started to do my pay back time and they just pissed off showing me faces that i am suppose to apologize.

I'm so done with a whole lot of shit. That's just how I feel at the moment. :(