all the words

baby, i love you much much. loving you makes me get really crazy. the time we had before. all was really prefect. we always asked do you remember this and do you remember that. the flashing back of all those happy moment could made a pretty nice smile on my face. the way you smell me and said you like me pig smell,it sounds kinda sarcastic but i love it. sweet. i don't know whether do you said the same thing to the other girl, if it does then i guess i might be real sad and down.

she loves you like how the way i love you. i can't afford to buy ya any expensive stuff. i can't,but i wish. she could buy anything you like,it proved a lot about how deep and how true she is in love with you. although,it's really sad when i knew about the story but still i accept the fact and forgive you because i love you. i read her blog mostly everyday. i feel kinda ''busy body'' or kinda troublesome for making myself down or something while i was reading. i can't take whatever that had happen between you and me and also her. the truth was too ugly until i keep thinking over and over again, then i am down of it.

sigh..

i had a very serious and bad dream. i can't believe that i will have such ridiculous dream. it began like....
you and me went to sunway (the place you both went before i guess). you were wanting to meet you friend right there. we were walking and walking until we both get tired. we found a place to sit down and rest. then i was asking,don't you afraid that you will meet her here accidentally and you just kept quiet. suddenly,the climax it's here. (very real) i was asking you nonsense again(like what i also does in reality),that might made myself pissed off seriously. i was asking something about her,the past about you and her. then you started to tell,you were smiling all the way. then she said she bought ya something very expansive, you love it very much. after this,my heart was totally broken and i can't take any single more then i gave ya one tight slap. i slapped you. i ran off very quickly, i kept running and running away. i kept crying too. i can't believe that i slapped you. i ran till half way then i fall. i looked back you were coming towards to me. i got up very fast and ran away again,until somewhere corner i sit down the floor. you came over and you just kept quiet. then you met your friend,you were talking with them then having some jokes i guess. strangely, we were all at my grandma house already. you still don't wanna talk anything to me. i walked off and i lost you. i walked out the house i saw you drove away. i ran to the room and trying to call you with house phone but the house phone was working after all ... i was going to cry then I AM AWAKE! it was all just a dream. my body was all sweat, the feeling were still right here, freaking me out.

i can't believe i could have such dream. i guess i think too much of our problem including her in reality.