he was my sweetie

had a superb weird dream.
things were all fine but suddenly there were somebody that i didn't expected who could appeared in my dream.
she kept staring at me all the way and i just do my own stuff and then i just leave.

there are something in my mind.
something i really curious worryingly.
i can't imagine what will be if i am with him for more than 5 years?
i guess he will get very very bored with me? i don't know.

i read her blog.
was saying that you said you both were magic.

what did you really can describe about us then?

you seems don't take our relationship as an important of your life.
you do everything with care for yourself,you can't see how much i take this seriously.
i got nothing that you really love.
i don't have any big boobs.
i'm not good in sexual knowledge.
i'm not good in dressing.

i'm looking for the old boyfriend that i had with me before.
i miss him. he was what and who could make me smile all day.
he have no car. he got less cash. but i love to be with him.
who can do whatever for me.
who love me a lot. care a lot.
never scold me for small matter.
always will text me when he miss me, also a good morning message and a good night message.
also able to wait me somewhere for everyday.
and trying all the best to meet me.
i do really miss it a lot.
i just love and enjoy to be with him during that precious time.

how am i able to get all these back to me?

it have been already 4 years.
many things changed.
we grown.
everything changed.
i used to smile all day but now i used to cry all day for nothing.