blogged cause bored

look,what's the day?
it's sunday.
it's really boring and lifeless.
can anyone define life or live?
my life is like lack of socialization.
need someone or something to be with and make everything better.

i see people always go out and hang over oftenly with their friends at Sega,Coffee Beans, Winter Warmers, Starbucks, Coffee island etc.
but me? seriously,lame. i don't have much of friends.
why? i don't know. maybe i'm not a friendly person.
where is my friends?


snaped this before i went out for movie.

he made me laughed again last night.here,i'm smiling right now.we had a pretty great time.playing over like a kids. he just like my kidergarden's best friend. (laughing*)

why am i feeling like living with more than 2 person in my love life?

i still need to care about those people arround me like my family, his family, my friend and his friend. this so sucks.

it's lame but i have to do it because this is what everybody gotta do.

"when you decided to get married. you ain't just marring with the guy but also you're marrying with his family.''

heard a lot of thing that i don't really like to answer, like my friend ask about why i still can stand him for his behavior? also,my mom asked why you still want to be with him when you knew he smokes? mom,i'm sorry cause your daughter smokes too. sigh.

alright,i know what to do when i'm already decided at the first.

so,people. don't get worry about me.

i'm fine enough right now.

the SALTWATER ROOM

I opened my eyes last night and saw you in the low light
Walking down by the bay, on the shore, staring up at the planes that aren’t there anymore
I was feeling the night grow old and you were looking so cold
Like an introvert, I drew my over shirt
Around my arms and began to shiver violently before
You happened to look and see the tunnels all around me
Running into the dark underground
All the subways around create a great sound
To my motion fatigue: farewell
With your ear to a seashell
You can hear the waves in underwater caves
As if you actually were inside a saltwater room

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we're apart, whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?
All the time, all the time

Can you believe that the crew has gone and wouldn’t let me sign on
All my islands have sunk in the deep, so I can hardly relax or even oversleep
I feel as if I were home some nights, when we count all the ship lights
I guess I'll never know why sparrows love the snow
We’ll turn out all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow


So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time.

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time, all the time

Time together isn't ever quite enough
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time

envy but impressed

it's 3am.

alright,sorry for not listening to what
my boyfriend said to me.
what a naughty girl. no choice,i can't sleep yet.
sorry.
i did not spent my time chatting with anyone
but i am here to blog.

i love taking pictures,obviously.
wondering why i don't even want to open my
mouth to ask for taking picture with him.
maybe,i think that's nothing memorable.
wait! that's a NO!
i always love to keep those pictures with me.

guess,
i don't want to listen or saw something not nice.
like,
all our pictures could just be erased in one shot?
that's hurt.

maybe because of this and i do not want anymore.
unless he think we should.
he would?
i don't know cause i'm not him.
i don't even know anything about what's in his mind.


i felt envy when i saw couples have their
prefect sweet pictures and they are
mostly in a stable relationship.
noticed these days,
there were a lot of people were posting
they are in a relationship in facebook.
and i was like ''awwww'' .
how nice it is.
i'm happy for them.

i was a girl who do really have
a stable relationship before.
was cute and strong.
it was cool but it was over.
and it's new now.
i treat it real new.

i wanna fall all over again.

let me share this.
i had collected few pictures from others
that i found they look good in those kind of pictures.

.
this is nicole and her boyfriend.
found them have lot's of very funny and happy pictures

sweet!

nice? yea!

these is all my cousins and with their love once.

i love this! i see happiness.



they are people that i don't really know them.
but they are sweet isn't it?
awwww

bottom pictures are from suji's brother and the girlfriend.

i do really in love with their superb nice pictures.
well done! keep it up.

started

what's happening????
i couldn't find any reason why am i emotional right now.

i should get my ass off this place and study.
but then i can't even study while my mind ain't functioning well.
i don't want to screw that paper again.
i still remember that why i would failed this paper.
there was something happen and i was with my strong emotion in last september.
that's why i screwed this god damn paper.

now,while i started to read the book and study.
the last september stuff came into my mind and interrupted me.
i saw those dried tears' mark on the pages.
i remember how inappropriate i cried.
i cried like i never cried before.
i sound really stupid about this.
those sourish tears that i've spent was too much.
wondering, do my eyes still containing tears?
is there enough for my following days in my life?

guess,it's all still enough.

so,whatever had happen at the last september i will just take it as an experience.
then this septemeber,no matter what will happen i'll just face it and fuck the destroyer.
i want it to be something happening.
i wanna laugh and enjoy it. just to be as happy as i can.
cause,i have enough with all the past september that how i screwed it all.

' life is like a roller coaster, then it drop ' - definition of life

i'm 19 right now. i gotta go for something meaningful.
no more wasting time for nonsense.
no more sitting at home for waiting.
no more spending hour in arguing.
no more creating unnecessary stuff.
i will try my best to make my life that i mean to live with.

right, then 5/6 years later.

i need a right man in the 'job'.
that i can simply married him with no worries.
i'll be his perfectly wife and i'll give him my shoulder all the time.
then we'll build our family with our kids.

look. isn't happy? but,i can't do this alone because one hand couldn't make the clapping sound.
and it need to depends on the God. =)

the valentines' day??

look i've been writing all about my love in this privately blog. (only he could view)

i created this blog since the separation in the early months.
now,we are together back. smile*
i take this just like i am with another guy that i willing to start to live with. (but sometime i don't)
i'm trying to forget whatever shit that had happen since the very first day.

alright,the guy who made me fell superb deep was the early him.
but guess both of us also already changed. let's agree with this.
i am not anymore that kind of girl who would do whatever for love. (guess so)
honestly,still sometime i did feel like want to do lot's of thing for my love one.
i don't really spend my money for that but i do it my own hand sometimes,
cause i do applied my heart for everything.

this time i got no idea with what to do at the coming valentines' day.
hmmmm.
and he seems like ...
" it's better if we don't do anything for that day''


alright,no matter what.
we'll see later then.

love ya,biee.

don't tears anymore

can you believe i've changed.
i'm sorry that i am stronger.
i found myself don't take it the same anymore.
cause i don't know you well,like another person.
guess i should be glad with it.
cause,
i don't tears easily anymore.

you have to open your eyes and see.
i ain't serious about it.
i'm sure you are too.
we don't and we never know the date to celebrate.
and i don't feel that's a big deal.
i was too serious about the relationship but not anymore.
i'll always prepare every gift for all the special day but not anymore.
guess i should be glad with it.
cause,
i don't tears easily anymore.

it doesn't mean that i don't love you anymore.
i just won't rely too much and won't take every issues seriously.

time together isn't ever quite enough?
yes,it never felt so at home but still i can get over this some night.
it's really happy when i have a great time with you,my dear.

so,what are you thinking of?

the move that you leaded me when i played my favorite song is really adorable.
i like it,that's why i keep laughing.

we were having a very chidly moment,we behaved like a 8 years old kid.
we had all our smile on our face.
unfortunately,it's sad that every happy moment only happen in a short time.
we turn into 18 above and feeling grow old after an hour.

i don't expect any romance.
cause i already had enough of it in the early years.
thanks to you.
thanks for all the memory you brought for me when we were perfectly in love.
i remember how excited i am when you brought a flowers.
once and first is enough cause the feeling is great in the first time.
and i love you all the while,truthfully.

*no matter what you have in your mind,i just like to tell ya i'm prepared for changes.

bored. no calls. no messages.

it's too boring. i snapped few pictures with my new spaghetti.

supposedly, my man (Chow Hon Hou) should come and find me tonight cause he said he will but in the end he went out to chill with his buddies. i'm pretty disappointing about it but nothing i can do. i'm trying not to get mad about it. so,i smiled.

i'm pretty sure that i'm slightly stronger already. i'm happy with it. i give up for keep controlling him.

one thing that i'm kinda disappointed on us is that we both aren't sure about when is the date we got back together. no more anniversary to greet or celebrate for. funny.

need to talk

loving you wasn't my job. listening to you wasn't my job. understand you wasn't my job too. but they are what it come automatically from my heart.

Hey,
we had already know each other for so long.
i wish we could talk to each other in some kind of peace way.
can we?

just a simple open heart talk.
i just hope that we both could get this over.
to know each other more and understanding.

i wasn't enjoy myself while controlling you.
i had an experienced before too.
the control could made people lie.

i said before,
you are like
my closest friend,
my dearest brother,
my respective father.

i hope we just talk whatever topic together with an open heart.

AGAIN

there you go,you lied again.

she text you,but you lied and said it's other person.
i was mad but i forgive you.
i told you,not to lie me again.

you went to gurney.
i called, i asked and i asked (twice) but you lied.
you did not try to tell the truth.

your reason are always the same.
saying just don't want me to think nonsense or whatever.

hey,i won't get to simply think if you could know how to tell me rightly.
but you never.

can you tell me when you are able to be what i want?
when you could stop lying?
when you could change?

if you were me,what you will do is just hang up my call and say BYE.
right?

you said i'm looking for chances to breakup with you.
if i am.
i'll be already say it out in the phone just now.
i just want you to realize i am serious with everything.
please,take my words.
and
i love you.

thinking

love is like a drug sometime.
cannot live without.

i question all the while. never stop. i apologize.
i'm sorry for being like this,because i can't get over it yet.
i can't forget about what he did to me.
the past. it's over but in your heart everything is still remain here.
no matter it's good or bad, they will always be here.
i can't stop myself for hating him and loving him.
loving him could make me kill him too.

i have a feeling, something like revenge.
but revenge couldn't make anything right,i know.
it might made us sufferer.

i never try to do anything bad to them while they are together.
i never try to ask the girl out for a talk although i planned before.
i never try to kiss or hug any guy while i have the right to do so.
i never try to party or chill out there when i can do so.
i never try to fight back when she called me a bitch.
i never try to scold her for what she did to me.
i never try to slap him when i found out about what he did to me.

why i never try? because i thought i am still his girl.
i suppose be good and understanding but i realized nobody is understanding me.
i don't understand why? why? why they did not try to understand me?
when i can be a little meaner? braver? tougher?

this is the first time,i am facing all this.
the outlook of us,we look good but we don't feel good.
i bet he is not feeling any settled at all.
something like we don't enjoy anymore.
no matter what we are doing,i ain't concentrating for what we are doing.
and i can be thinking another thing or people.
i can be thinking about her for the whole day.
i ain't liking her, i ain't hating her.
i don't even know what kind of feeling i have towards her.

how much i wish i could ask her out and have a talk with her.
and let us get this all over.

baby,you're luckily isn't it? you have two girls who care and love you.
something like love you to hell. could cry and cry over for you.
i love you and also i am afraid of you. just like another of my mom,who afraid of her own man.
our hand get shiver and we get frightened once our man are with his anger.
we did not dare to shout back, or say something that we wanted to say.
we knew that if once we try to say something,you guys will not try to listen.
and don't even give a damn on it.

ever since i was little,i saw a lot of problem about my own parents.
i don't wish i get a husband who behave like my dad.
who gets angry easily, very bad temper and lazy.
and also a very heavy smoker.

forever in my life

this a very nice song that from Jojo's new coming album all i want is everything 2010.

FOREVER IN MY LIFE

Uhoh Yeah Yeahhh Ohh

The Way Your Part Of me,
I Would have to re-learn everything,
If You were to leave,
So fast you make me feel like was autumn Leaves,
And honestly..There a perfect explanation
Why you feel so good to say that your

My love,my love,my love
i´ll give you all my love if you,if you,
if you don't change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
so right, i wanna man like you forever in my life.

Im a Stick inside a jar,
turn the lid and set me free,
I Love Everything that you are,
has a million other reasons,
But lets not go to far,
Stay,close to my heart,
When I think about the future,
i am right there where you are,
Cuz you´re...

My love,my love,my love
i´ll give you all my love if you,if you,
if you dont change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
so right, i wanna man like you to say you´re,

My love,my love,my love
i´ll give you all my love if you,if you,
if you don't change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
so right, i wanna man like you forever in my life.

I know,that you,would never leave me hanging,
Hanging out to dry in the wind,
I know that we haven´t seen the worst ofit,
But when we do,i promise you we´ll stick it out together.

My love,my love,my love
i´ll give you all my love if you,if you,
if you don't change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
so right, i wanna man like you forever in my life.

so right, i wanna man like you forever in my lifeeeeee

help me understand

i had already expected that the pictures were all gone from his hand phone.
just wanted to confirm with it, i took a look and it is all gone already.
the pictures all was kept from ever since we are in love when we were younger.
all those pictures are important and meaningful to me.
no matter what happen,i will also not delete our pictures just like that.
because of the separation,he just deleted all of it when he was with his frustration.
i can't believe that why is he so mean to do so.
why is our pictures is so easily to be erased.
he don't even love those memory? or it's nothing for him?

sigh.

he don't even know how bad i felt and it's hurt when i realized.

if there is a person who are meaningful in your life,what you will do?

we ain't anything new. start from day 1?
why are you calling me with something that you used to call me before?
why not we just change everything?
changed all with nothing is related with the past like how easy you could erase the memory.

can we?

everytime i wish to talk with you and you just ignore me.
and you try to change topic and all.
when i decided not to tell so much,you hate it and you think girls is like an odd creature.
we girls are thinker. this is the fact.
hey,baby. could you understand how is my feelings when you keep behaving like this?
i can't take this any longer.
it's nice that you take your responsibility to be a boyfriend.
you brought me out, you bought me meal and all.
when things get slightly uglier.
you just leave me alone and want me to stop everything by myself and you want stay in peace.
we need to be serious to talk this over sometimes. do you think so?

seriously,i know you will not beg me to stay.
you will not wait me for long.
if i slipped away...

do you ever realized you are so much different than last time?

and i love you so.

what about

why am i just writing all about my love?
why am i placing love at first place again? (what about him)
all i do, all i think is just about him.
hundred and thousand of question in my brain.
i need to know but i also don't want to know.
cause truth is ugly all the time.

i know he don't take my love for the same anymore.
not anymore like how he care about my feelings.

there are so much i can't say.

i wish to ask but i know the way he answer will be not i want.

do you ever ever know what i want?
i seems don't have any attraction anymore.

i don't know how much you love me but i know how much i am.

i ain't any pretty girl who can took your breath away.

i always mention you in my life. my boyfriend.
i hope you could understand this.

he was my sweetie

had a superb weird dream.
things were all fine but suddenly there were somebody that i didn't expected who could appeared in my dream.
she kept staring at me all the way and i just do my own stuff and then i just leave.

there are something in my mind.
something i really curious worryingly.
i can't imagine what will be if i am with him for more than 5 years?
i guess he will get very very bored with me? i don't know.

i read her blog.
was saying that you said you both were magic.

what did you really can describe about us then?

you seems don't take our relationship as an important of your life.
you do everything with care for yourself,you can't see how much i take this seriously.
i got nothing that you really love.
i don't have any big boobs.
i'm not good in sexual knowledge.
i'm not good in dressing.

i'm looking for the old boyfriend that i had with me before.
i miss him. he was what and who could make me smile all day.
he have no car. he got less cash. but i love to be with him.
who can do whatever for me.
who love me a lot. care a lot.
never scold me for small matter.
always will text me when he miss me, also a good morning message and a good night message.
also able to wait me somewhere for everyday.
and trying all the best to meet me.
i do really miss it a lot.
i just love and enjoy to be with him during that precious time.

how am i able to get all these back to me?

it have been already 4 years.
many things changed.
we grown.
everything changed.
i used to smile all day but now i used to cry all day for nothing.

my fault

this is 8 Jan 10.
i was down for the whole day because from the night i read his messages in his mobile phone.
those messages that kills me a lot.
i called him in the middle of the night because i knew he might need a call of mine.
he were with his anger cause of the face i was with the whole night.
he hate it a lot.
he was right,nobody offer me to read those messages.
nobody force me to read it at all.
i just insisted wanted to read it myself and i made myself down.
yes,i was behaving stupidly.
i keep reading and looking about the past.
he told me,past is the past. it's all over.

baby,now you realized something how i felt before.
like my past,you wanted to know about my past.
you hate my past too.
all those story that when i was with another guy.
we behave this way it's because we love each other.
we care a lot for all.
that's why,and i do really care.
by the way i'm so sure,i ain't mad about her.

you said,i'm making you wanna hide something behind me again because of my behavior.
you know what,when i heard this i felt something like ''WHY? and ''WHAT?''
you meant you will hide and lie again for sure?
my behavior is really pissing you off, i know.
i understand this feeling cause i do had it before.

it's alright,i guess i just let all be.
just let it all be.
i walk with the story.
i will just go for whatever thing but not mentioning any about the past and i hope you could do it too.
i don't know i will be fine with this or not but i will try my best.
like i promised myself before,i will do whatever i promised myself.
i will your girl,new girl of yours i guess.

in my life, i met different kind of guy.
you are the only guy that
i cry the most.
i care the most.
i need the most.
i hope the most.
i love the most.
because of you,i live one more day.
the words that you said,i'll always care about and remember too.
the tears i have right now it's all for you.
i never want to argue with you.
every time we argue,i'll never try to put on more fight.
i'll talk softly to you and tell you i'm sorry.
the same thing,we both hate argument. we hate fight.
i never try to fight with anyone.
although,that time she hates me a lot.
she said i am a bitch or whatever i also forgotten.
i never take a try to fight back with her.
maybe i take myself as a third party that time.
i kept quiet and i kept it myself.
i don't know did you ever stand my side and help me but it's okay.
i don't mind.
i don't mind after all. . .

i cried cause i though i was different.

this is 7 Jan 10.
actually last night was a normal night, can say it's a good night too.
i cooked spaghetti for him and my family.
he came over my place and have them.
everything was fine but in my heart there a lot of thing that i dislike and don't understand.
i saw him introducing himself to a girl at facebook,it was normal but then i don't really like it.
he seems didn't place me in his heart.
no matter what do,i'tell him cause i do place him in my heart and respect him.
i promised and told before that i will do whatever he ask for but what i really want and he doesn't know.
he behave very sweet to me, saying how much he love my smell, love my hand, love my face and all.
from this,it's nice and sweet but i don't even know is he serious for everything.
i wan't this relationship to be very serious,i don't even know whether he realized this or not.

while i read over all those text from her,i felt really nothing cause i understand about how the girl felt.
after this,i turned to read those messaged that he text her.
my heart were broken and i felt really sad.
all those messages was kinda familiar with all he text me before.
i cried after he leave my house.
i thought he will call me after this because he should knew i'm down with this but he didn't.
i was waiting and crying until i fall asleep.

i am me. i'm not her.
i don't want to be treated the same way.
i don't want him to treat me as the same with others he treated before.
althought before her,i was already treated this way but seriously i don't like it.
he able to treat us all the same but i can't take the same.
if that girl knew that he do also talk this way to me,she surely dislike it too.
this is what we are when i are truly loving someone.

i do really wanna shout to him that: PLEASE DON'T BITE ME!!
cause he bites all the girl he with.
i wanted to be treated differently.

now there's something i am suspecting.
both of them must be slept before.
i don't know is it true or it is not.
all i know is that i suspect and i felt they had already do so.
i trust my prediction.
because through all the experiences i had before,my prediction was right.
i will not ask him,i will just keep this for myself and let it be.

he always think that why are we girls always get emo and always wanna find out about his past.
he hate it,i know but he didn't try to think and understand from our girl's side.
my mom came to talk with me about me and him.
i got no idea how to let go,cause we just started.
my mom knew what had happen,i didn't told her any.
i just got no idea how she knew.

mommy,i really hope i can share this with you but i can't make it.
the story between me and him is too complicated.
wasn't only his wrong and wasn't only my wrong.
we both were wrong.
we both made mistakes.
i don't think i understand him and know him well although we are together for more than 4 years.
he dislike to let people about his privacy.
thats why,sometime he don't like to tell.
i know you want me to be happy.
but mommy,i love him.
i fell in love with him since the day he first present me flowers.
he is like a drug to me.
once he step away,i felt suffering.
i can't survive well.
i am happier when i have him around with me.
this is the truth . . .

all the words

baby, i love you much much. loving you makes me get really crazy. the time we had before. all was really prefect. we always asked do you remember this and do you remember that. the flashing back of all those happy moment could made a pretty nice smile on my face. the way you smell me and said you like me pig smell,it sounds kinda sarcastic but i love it. sweet. i don't know whether do you said the same thing to the other girl, if it does then i guess i might be real sad and down.

she loves you like how the way i love you. i can't afford to buy ya any expensive stuff. i can't,but i wish. she could buy anything you like,it proved a lot about how deep and how true she is in love with you. although,it's really sad when i knew about the story but still i accept the fact and forgive you because i love you. i read her blog mostly everyday. i feel kinda ''busy body'' or kinda troublesome for making myself down or something while i was reading. i can't take whatever that had happen between you and me and also her. the truth was too ugly until i keep thinking over and over again, then i am down of it.

sigh..

i had a very serious and bad dream. i can't believe that i will have such ridiculous dream. it began like....
you and me went to sunway (the place you both went before i guess). you were wanting to meet you friend right there. we were walking and walking until we both get tired. we found a place to sit down and rest. then i was asking,don't you afraid that you will meet her here accidentally and you just kept quiet. suddenly,the climax it's here. (very real) i was asking you nonsense again(like what i also does in reality),that might made myself pissed off seriously. i was asking something about her,the past about you and her. then you started to tell,you were smiling all the way. then she said she bought ya something very expansive, you love it very much. after this,my heart was totally broken and i can't take any single more then i gave ya one tight slap. i slapped you. i ran off very quickly, i kept running and running away. i kept crying too. i can't believe that i slapped you. i ran till half way then i fall. i looked back you were coming towards to me. i got up very fast and ran away again,until somewhere corner i sit down the floor. you came over and you just kept quiet. then you met your friend,you were talking with them then having some jokes i guess. strangely, we were all at my grandma house already. you still don't wanna talk anything to me. i walked off and i lost you. i walked out the house i saw you drove away. i ran to the room and trying to call you with house phone but the house phone was working after all ... i was going to cry then I AM AWAKE! it was all just a dream. my body was all sweat, the feeling were still right here, freaking me out.

i can't believe i could have such dream. i guess i think too much of our problem including her in reality.

Come home

Everything i can`t be
Is everything you should be
And that`s why i need you here
Everything i can`t be
Is everything you should be
And that`s why i need you here
So hear this now

Come home
Come home
Cause I`ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I`ve ever known
Ever known
So come home

DON'T LIE cause i can't take the pain

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry
Hey, baby my nose is getting big
I noticed it be growing when I been telling them fibs
Now you say your trust's getting weaker
Probably coz my lies just started getting deeper
And the reason for my confession is that I learn my lesson
And I really think you ought to know the truth
Because I lied and I cheated and I lied a little more
But after I did it I don't know what I did it for
I admit that I have been a little immature
Fucking with your heart like I was the predator
In my book of lies I was the editor
And the author
I forged my signature
And now I apologize for what I did to you
Cos what you did to me I did to you

No,no, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don't lie
No, no, no, no, yeah, you know, know, know, know, you gotta try
What you gonna do when it all comes out
When I really see you & what you're all about

No, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don't lie
Yeah, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you gotta try

She said I'm leaving
Cos she can't take the pain
It's hard to continue this love it ain't the same
Can't forget the things that I've done inside her brain
Too many lies committed too many games
She feeling like a fool getting on the last train
Trying to maintain but the feeling won't change
I'm sorry for the things that I've done and what I became
Caught up in living my life in the fast lane
Blinded by lights, cameras, you know the fame
I don't know the reason why I did these things

And I lie and I lie and I lie and I lie
And now our emotions are drained
Cos I lie and I lie and a little lie lie
And now your emotions are drained

No, no, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don't lie (no, don't you lie)
No, no, no, no, yeah, you know, know, know, know, you gotta try (got to try, got to try)
What you gonna do when it all comes out (what you gonna do baby)
When I really see you & what you're all about
Nonono babe, no, no, no, no don't lie
Because you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, gotta try

Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ba da ba da ba da ba da badabada

Yo, I'm lying to my girl
Even though I love her
And she all in my world
I give her all my attention and diamonds & pearls
She's the one who makes me feel on top of the world
Still I lie to my girl, I do it

And I lie and I lie and I lie till there's no turning back
I don't know why, (and I lie and I lie till I don't know who I am)



*baby,let sing this together.

i want it seriously

we watched this movie together last few days.
this movie were like telling something about us.
we were separated.
3 months.
before the separation.
we cheated and lied to one another.
but in the end we get back together.
while watching this movie,
i was really concentrating,
i paid my attention in this movie.
cause the story is just like us.

guess was already few weeks.
i never stop or change how the way i love you,baby.
i love you always.
keep thinking about you seriously.
i'm trying to think ya less my man.
just wanna be more with myself.

i blame myself for being emo while with you.
it made ya felt uncomfortable,i know that.
sigh. but i just can't and really can't get over this.
how the way you hide for so long,it's half year.
with all those bad images and words.
i don't know how deep you both get into,
i don't know how hard you both struggled to,
i don't know how bad you both wanted to.
i can't stop thinking and wondering.

i'm trying to forgive and forget so that both of us can get happy.

i want to let ya know that i do really want to be a great girl of yours.
i wish this time you are true.
no more lies and no more hide.
please,tell me everything.

baby,don't lie okay?

''No,no, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don't lie
No, no, no, no, yeah, you know, know, know, know, you gotta try
What you gonna do when it all comes out
When I really see you & what you're all about

No, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don't lie
Yeah, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you gotta try''

i asked nonsence

ahh. i cant believe what i had asked him.
''did you both french kiss before?''
this is real stupid.
cause i thought they didn't.
sigh.
i shouldn't think this way earlier.
they were couple isn't it?
...
surely they had their kisses, hugs and whatever like me and him doing same.
this is what i couple does,right?
why am i emo for that?
god damn it charlotte lee.

why are we always like feeling bad or angry for each other?
i really don't know.
is like,i could get angry easily or being unhappy once i heard something related to ''sugar''
once i felt something,which is her.
once he kiss me hug me or bite me, very fast i already have her in my mind.
all those images that only have him and her.
then seriously i get real emo and down.
and he could get angry easily once i did some problem or something stupid.
like,i didn't call him first or i late answer his call then he will sounds really mad of me.

every time,i get slightly angry or unhappy then he will started to try to make me better.
but just that awhile not more than 10 minutes.
after that,he will just pissed off.
i thought he will still comfort me,cuase no matter how i will be better.
i just needed to see and enjoy myself for letting him comfort.
but mostly guy would think why must they waste their time for doing this.
but they didn't know how much their girl care for this,
how much their girl would spent their for their man.
and lastly,it's because they love their man so.
girl, we should kindly be tolerate just to let your man stay but nothing else we can do.